Jesus and Hobbits

I really love traditions. I’m a creature of habit, and there’s something really comforting and exciting about looking forward to something you know is wonderful.

For example, every year on Christmas morning, my mom makes homemade cinnamon rolls. Only on Christmas morning. I love those cinnamon rolls.

But our best tradition happens just after that. For the past nine years, every winter, my family sits down and watches Lord of the Rings. We have a strict rule that we only watch the movies once a year, with each other. It must be the extended editions. And every night for a week or so, we spend two hours in Middle Earth.

I adore this tradition.

Through books and movies and travelling to New Zealand to stand before Bag-end, Lord of the Rings has become real to me. And to be honest with you, I have craved to be a part of that world. It’s changed how I think and write and imagine things. It’s a part of me.

Yeah it’s pretty dorky but I really don’t care.

Anyway, there are two scenes in the first part of the Fellowship of the Ring that I love. (That’s not true. I love many, many scenes, but two in particular mean something to me as I’m walking with

Jesus.) For now, I’m just going to talk about one. Maybe I’ll get to the other one later, we’ll see.

This has to do with Samwise Gamgee. What a guy. I could talk about Sam for a long time. But in this particular scene, he’s walking through a field in the Shire with good old Frodo. Suddenly he stops, just before the field turns into a stretch of grass. Frodo turns back and asks Sam what’s up. And he goes, “If I take one more step I’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.”

Oh Sam. If only you knew.

And I wonder if Sam looked back to that moment as he and Frodo crawled through the darkest and most dangerous areas of Middle Earth. I wonder if he regretted taking that step. I wonder if he questioned himself. I wonder if he would have done things differently if he knew where that step would take him.

Was it worth it for Sam? He wasn’t the ring-bearer. He wasn't the long-lost King of Gondor, or an elf with a wicked shot.

He was a gardener.

Why did he go? Why did he take that step? Yeah sure Gandalf told him to. But what about later. Why did he keep going with Frodo? Why didn’t he go home?

In the books, Sam loved the elves. And sometimes I think of that Sam, who’s biggest dream was to see a few elves. Once he saw them, why did he keep going? After all, his life was fulfilled wasn’t it?

Now hang on with me here, okay? Because this is all speculation. But I wonder if maybe Sam realized that his dream was too small. Maybe the elves were too easy for him to find. Maybe he wanted more. Maybe “something Tookish woke up inside of him and he wished to go and see the great mountains and hear the pine trees and the waterfalls and explore the caves and wear a sword instead of a walking stick”.

And I think that’s why he took that step outside of the Shire, away from home. He knew his maps were too small and there was a great world to go and see. But it was terrifying.

I think following Jesus is like this. It’s that step, beyond all we know and love and understand into… what? Like Sam, we don’t really know. But like Sam that can’t be an excuse.

As I write that, I realize how convicting and troubling that is. Just because there’s no magic ring to destroy, no evil dark lord to face, no orcs to fight, no Mount Doom to climb, doesn’t mean it will be easy. Taking that step means saying goodbye to what I want. It means following blindly into the great unknown. It means stepping off the pathway of normal, of planned perfection. It means throwing away the rulebook. It’s untraditional. Life can’t be the same, ever again, if I take that step.

But then again.

Do I want it to be the same? Look at Sam. He didn’t just see the elves. He saw breathtaking mountain ranges, awesome views from unimaginable heights, and a world he never knew existed. He saw courage. He saw good. He saw honest, integritous people who would fight for the good. He saw hope in the face of deep despair. He saw the sun rise at the end of the longest night.

And I have something Sam didn’t have. See Sam and Frodo didn’t really know what would happen and they went. But I have Jesus, who knows precisely what will happen. What’s my excuse?

I don’t really have one.

I’ve been redeemed to take that step. Jesus died so I’d take that step. How can I not take it?

It reminds me of this thing that Oswald Chambers said, “I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone.” Oof. That’s a scary thing to say. Especially that “I am determined” part. Determined means unstoppable. Determined means I can’t even stop myself. Determined means something other than me is driving me. Determined means no matter my thoughts and feelings and wants and fears I take that step. Just like Sam.

If I’m being honest, I don’t know that I’ve really come to that point yet. But I’m saying  it anyway, and praying for God to make it real in my life. Living determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone is scary. And it opens the door to a lot of unknowns. But then again, I don’t know what I’m doing anyway. I’d rather take that step, surrendering my life for God’s glory, than wander aimlessly through this life. Jesus has loved me enough to die for me, so I’m learning to love Him enough to live utterly and totally for Him.

Who knew Samwise Gamgee could tell the gospel so well?