- Jess Markley
- Apr 25, 2021
- 2 min read
I started going to counseling in November of 2019.
The whys aren’t as important right now. That’s not a story I’m ready to tell yet. Instead, I’d like to share some of the gems that my therapist has shared with me.
A quick note about my counselor: she is incredible. A roundhouse kick to the face of tough love. No punches pulled. She’s suplexed the lies I spin more times than I can count. She holds a black belt in obliterating my bullcrap. I liken her to the samurai of old, slashing to pieces my false beliefs and misplaced fears.
I love this woman.
She puts up with a lot for me. And she has some great advice about life. In fact, I’ve been keeping a running list this past semester so I can share it with others.
Here’s some of the deep, philosophical truths she has imparted in my life.
On sincerity:
Her: “Can I be honest with you?”
Me: *Nods*
Her: “You’re wrong.”
On nutrition:
“Pretzels and chocolate milk aren’t dinner.”
On friendships:
“Stop trying to manipulate your friends to feel better about yourself.”
On setting limits:
“That’s because they have healthy boundaries, Jessica.”
On faith:
“His name is Jesus and he did that already. So stop trying.”
On aviation:
“Jess, you’re blind and deaf and trying to land a plane right now. You’re gonna crash and burn. Just stop. You can’t land the plane, okay?”
On encouragement:
“Well, that’s stupid.”
On expectations:
“Wow, it’s almost like you’re not perfect.”
In many ways, she is the Lucy to my Charlie Brown. I come to her with all the stupid stories I tell myself, and she cocks an eyebrow, smirks, and then absolutely destroys them by pointing out the dozens of plot holes. And while I usually need to take a few days to recover from her psychological jiu-jitsu, I find that she’s right.
I can’t land planes.
Pretzels and chocolate milk, while delicious, do make for a bad dinner.
I’m not perfect.
I have a bad habit of controlling people’s feelings.
All these things should be rather obvious I guess. But they’re not always. So I need someone to speak some truth into my life, someone who will listen to me with grace and then rebuke me without mercy. I guess I’m trying to say that I just really love my counselor.